When I was 17 years old I tried to recover from my bulimia. I was purging after binges for several years. I was ready to quit. I had to.
I did not take more than 1200 calories a day to a point where I was just to weak to get through the day. Do not ask me why I did that. I had no choice. If you have bulimia then you do strange things but they look normal to you.
One day I realized that I had to stop this. I started eating normally again but it was so painful. I could keep my food down but my stomach was not used to it anymore. I had painful bloating.
It seemed to take forever but one day the pain did go away slowly. I also started to get my bleeding again. The first time after 16 months. It was a sign that may body started to behave normal again.
During that time I could not check my weight a single time. I was anxious that the weight I see would trigger bulimia again. I tried not to think about it at all. Just swallow the food and keep it down.
One mistake I did was still thinking about diet all day long. I was thinking about calories and fat every time I got some food. But it was in me. I always thought like this, what effect will the food have on my shape and weight.
I also did exercise too much. Six times a week I either went jogging or did some weight lifting in the gym. Two or three times would have been enough.
However, I made it but when I am looking back today I am still scared that it may come back one day. This has been ten years ago but it feels like it was last year.
I just can recommend everybody to get help. If you can not talk with your parents or partner, go to the doctor. For me it was the doctor who helped me to get over the first hurdle. I was too embarrassed to talk with someone I know. I did not want to know anybody. I just picked a doctor at the other side of the city and started talking. It was the first step to my recovery.
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